


How to Care For and Handle Your Angel

by preciousbunnynoiz



Series: How to care for your ineffable husband [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Gaslighting, M/M, Other, Protective Crowley (Good Omens), heaven is a bunch of bastards, now i'm projecting onto Aziraphale, touch starved aziraphale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 21:18:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19411597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousbunnynoiz/pseuds/preciousbunnynoiz
Summary: Crowley feeling protective of Aziraphale throughout the millennia of Heaven's mistreatment of his angel.





	How to Care For and Handle Your Angel

Crowley was, in his own humble opinion, a freaking genius.

Sure he had his blindspots and was a little bit lazy at times and occasionally supremely unfocused.

But still: a genius.

Not that it mattered.

See it didn't take a genius to handle his angel.

Okay so he had to fuck up at least once first.

It was some time when the only clothing was still robes. Was it after the ark or before? Crowley couldn't remember. 

What he  _ did  _ remember was Aziraphale.

He always remembered his meetings with his angel even if he didn't remember the details of when and why. 

This time he had seen those white robes and had tried not to grin as he snaked his way over. 

"Aziraphale!" He called as he clapped a hand on the angel's shoulder.

The effect was immediate.

Aziraphale gasped as if he'd been struck and turned his head to lock his gaze on the hand still on his shoulder. 

He was completely frozen under Crowley's hand who was starting to regret his actions. 

He slowly took the hand away and Aziraphale's eyes tracked it but he remained frozen.

"Aziraphale? I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" 

Aziraphale's gaze finally moved from Crowley's hand to his face. The angel's cheeks were flushed and his eyes were wide and confused. 

"I...you didn't...I'm not  _ uncomfortable _ and...oh god!" Aziraphale turned his gaze away, a hand over his mouth and the other arm wrapped around his waist. He looked like he was either going to be sick or that he expected to Fall right in that moment. 

"Aziraphale? I'm really sorry" he wasn't sure what he'd done wrong but he wanted to fix it fast

"It's fine" Aziraphale tried wave away his concern but he still looked a little like he might be ill.

"You didn't do anything wrong really I just...I need to go lie down. It’s just...I’m not...I’m not  _ used _ to people- and it wasn’t  _ bad- _ it was just...it’s nevermind” and with a pained smile Aziraphale walked off. 

Crowley stood there turning over what had just happened in his mind and realised it had to do with that being the first time he had touched Aziraphale. 

After that he was more careful.

He kept his hands to himself, flitting near but not close enough to touch. After all he could understand not wanting to be touched and at first he thought he had made the right choice because Aziraphale’s eyes seemed to be drawn to his hands. 

But he also looked so disappointed when they parted and Crowley had avoided all contact. 

So it wasn’t that he hated it so much as it was surprising? 

Maybe?

Crowley wasn’t sure. 

But he had plenty of time to figure it out. 

This time they were in Spain. 

Aziraphale had a few miracles and Crowley had of course his line of work.

They met, and like usual, decided to share a meal and some wine. 

“It’s really your lots fault this whole fake relics thing. If they weren’t so hot on the idea of saints upstairs I wouldn’t be able to tempt priests into selling bits of non saints for profit” the relics trade Crowley was particularly proud of. It had been humans who had begun thinking dead saints made miracles happen (often to Aziraphale’s professional outrage) and from there it only took a few nudges from Crowley to convince less scrupulous priests into making bank on the idea. The humans set up the network of underground fake relics without almost any help from Crowley meaning it cut down on the work he had to do by a ridiculous amount. 

“Believe me I  _ know. _ ” Aziraphale sounded frustrated but then he took a deep breath and looked guilty.

“I mean. I’m probably wrong. It’s probably my fault that they started thinking dead saints could perform miracles. If I hadn’t done that one miracle in Naples…”

Crowley looked at Aziraphale in astonishment.

“Angel, they  _ told _ you to do that one. You didn’t want to. You  _ told  _ them it was a bad idea at the time!” Crowley had met him on the way to that one and had listened to Aziraphale gripe about it for a good hour so he knew that for a fact.

Aziraphale’s brow wrinkled.

“Did I? I...I thought that’s how I remembered it but they said...they said I had suggested it. They also said that I’ve never complained before.” Aziraphale’s fingers were tapping nervously at the wood of their table as he stared at his empty plate.

Crowley felt a sense of outrage so deep he inadvertently cursed the couple behind Aziraphale into having horrible food poisoning in about an hour's time. 

“Angel” Aziraphale didn’t look up at him.

“Angel,” Crowley moved his hand so the fingertips of his right hand gently touched the hand Aziraphale had been tapping the table with.

Aziraphale instantly froze, his gaze whipping to that hand.

“Angel please look at me.” Crowley coaxed gently and was rewarded by Aziraphale slowly turning his gaze up at him, his pupils blown out and his eyes wide.

_ “Definitely doesn’t hate it then” _ Crowley noted to himself.

“Angel, you definitely told them it was a bad idea, and you’ve definitely complained about it to them before. We’ve talked about this many times over the years” Crowley explained carefully, “Remember?” 

Aziraphale’s cheeks were slightly flushed as he licked his lips and nodded slowly as Crowley’s words sunk into him. 

“I...do. I was worried I had...misremembered.” 

“Well you hadn’t” Crowley withdrew his hand feeling he had pushed it as far as he dared. 

Aziraphale watched him take his hand back with a complicated expression on his face before taking a deep shaky breath and smiling at Crowley with such fondness that it hurt because if he kept looking at Crowley like that then Crowley was going to get hopes and that would be stupid.

(Spoiler: He was already stupid)

Crowley smiled back and pushed his plate of confection towards his companion.

“You should know better angel. You’re cleverer than any of those pompous idiots in heaven” 

Aziraphale gave a pleased smile before pointing at the plate.

“You sure?” he asked. 

Crowley smiled.

“I’m not hungry” he lied. He then had his fill watching his angel take sublime pleasure in his food. 

Crowley was not a violent demon. 

All the other demons enjoyed violence and death. 

Crowley not so much.

Sure he did what he could to make human lives miserable but he tended to avoid or outsource any actual death as it was just messy and it made him sad.

Even in the war he had avoided killing or hurting any of the host. 

(In truth he had received a minor flesh wound and was all “Ow ow I’ve been caught oh dear I should turn myself in. Oh dear you defeated me!”)

However right in that moment he really really wanted to hurt someone up in heaven.

“THEY SAID WHAT!?” he demanded as he looked down at his angel who was in his bookshop sat on the sofa having refused to touch the very expensive chocolates Crowley had brought.

Aziraphale squirmed a bit and refused to meet Crowley’s eyes. 

“Michael said...they said my figure was unbecoming for an angel. That...that if I just cared a bit more- well they have a point. I’m not exactly in fighting shape. It’s because I’m too distracted that my numbers aren’t good enough.” Aziraphale said it lightly, like he wasn’t hurting.  _ Why was he smiling like that! _

Crowley pinched the bridge of his nose and tried not to swear.

“Aziraphale.” he began keeping his voice even through immense will power, “First of all your numbers are fine. I know because you were doing exactly what they set you out last year. I remember because I was checking with you to make sure we didn’t accidentally go over” 

“I  _ thought  _ so but-”

“And as for your figure you’re  _ fine _ . In fact you’re positively radiant! Why the hell would they say something so patently false! Oh I know why. Because they are blind idiots!” Crowley practically growled but he cleared his throat and looked down Aziraphale who was looking at the floor and had that expression he always wore when Crowley’s words directly contradicted heaven’s. 

He crouched down so he could meet Aziraphale’s gaze and gently laid his hand on Aziraphale’s knee. 

“Hey. I’m a liar but I don’t lie to you and I don’t lie to you about work. Remember?” 

Aziraphale smiled a bit shakily but genuinely and nodded his head slightly. 

Crowley smiled and removed his hand from Aziraphale’s knee and took a chocolate out of the box and held it out.

“Good. Now say ‘ah’ and enjoy these like you deserve to” 

Aziraphale gave him a look but opened his mouth and let Crowley pop the chocolate in before closing his mouth then his eyes as he managed to convey happiness and pleasure with his entire being. Then he made a sound that made Crowley’s heart race.

This sort of shit was why he always said Michael was a wanker. 

It took all of Crowley’s strength of will and love for Aziraphale to not walk over and pull that complete  _ asshole _ Gabriel into the hellfire for how he dared speak to his angel! 

He hadn’t understood. 

Not really.

His memories of Heaven were all from before this, and when Lucifer and the others were still up there causing trouble.

So he hadn’t been here to see this. 

To see Angels keeping a careful distance.

To see how when they tied him to a chair their faces of disgust at having had to touch someone else.

To hear the way they didn’t just condemn Aziraphale, sweet beloved Aziraphale, but that they didn’t even want to let him speak in his own defense! 

He got it now. 

The reason Aziraphale seemed to lean into his touch as much as he seemed to want to run from it. 

The reason why he doubted himself just all of the time. 

He had always known heaven had been to blame but now he really  _ understood. _

He knew one other thing for sure.

They were never,  _ ever _ , getting him back and he would fight God herself to make damn sure of that.

After they were back, and after he had given his dessert as per usual to his angel, they took a walk in the park.

Once they were there he carefully, very very carefully, reached out and took Aziraphale’s hand.

To his surprise even though the hand in his trembled slightly Aziraphale hung on with as much strength as he himself did. 

When they got back to the bookstore Aziraphale got a look of determination on his face and turned to face him head on.

“Can I…” he hesitated for a moment “Can I give you a hug?” 

To say Crowley was surprised would be like saying that ducks had feathers. 

He also felt relief.

Relief that it had been Aziraphale asking and that he had asked in the first place. 

A little choked up he nodded quickly so that his angel wouldn’t start doubting himself again.

Slowly, ever so slowly and carefully, Aziraphale stepped in and wrapped his arms around Crowley’s middle.

Crowley almost didn’t know what to do with his arms before gently and carefully wrapping them around Aziraphale in return.

“They didn’t deserve you you know” he said, no longer able to keep quiet “they were so  _ mean _ to you. They didn’t even want to hear your side.” 

“I’m not surprised” Aziraphale said with a sigh as he rested his head against Crowley’s shoulder, “They gave you a trial but that was mostly just so they could mock you and threaten you. Drag out when the pain would come. I hate that” 

“I hated how they treated you up there as well” 

They stayed like that for as long as the angel could bear it before Crowley felt him start to pull away and let him, knowing this was still new and difficult for the angel.

“I’ll get used to it” Aziraphale said as he pulled away.

“I know. There isn’t a rush” and there wasn’t. Not anymore.

“I’ll get some wine then shall I?” Aziraphale asked as he stepped away.

“Please do” 

Crowley smiled to himself. 

It was fine.

They had all the time in the world. 

**Author's Note:**

> companion piece to [How to Approach Your Demon](archiveofourown.org/works/19394641)
> 
> In the last one I was projecting my hypervigilance onto Crowley and this time I was projecting my lifetime of having been gaslit and emotionally abused by my parents onto Aziraphale...yay....
> 
> Seriously I'm glad I'm out of their control. I know you don't need to know my shit but after nearly 15 years of living across the world from them in a safe environment I finally at age 35 have been able to cut ties completely with my parents but it means I have a lot of feelings right now so a lot of my fics are going to have a certain theme.


End file.
